Living abroad is ~somewhat~ thrilling but it comes with a price: absolute responsibility of your life, and I don’t mean ensuring you have clean underwear at the start of the day. There’s more to making new friends and exploring a foreign city on your own. And while my family, friends, food and the little quirks of Singapore are the things I miss on most days, especially amidst the cold and winter days, I’m actually kind of glad to away from my comfort zone.
It’s been a year since I moved abroad to complete my degree in Fashion Journalism at London College of Fashion. Let me tell ya, it’s been great! Living on my own has been the best thing that has happened to me in awhile. It may be weird to say but I relish the moments I can steep in my little bubble of solitude, giving me space to reflect and unwind after a hectic day. I enjoy cooking for myself, cleaning up after — ok, only sometimes. That’s what dishwashers are for — and getting drunk on red wine on Friday nights with friends. But hor, it really took me awhile to adjust and I faced many, many struggles when I first left the +65.
If you’re reading this and have at least took part in an exchange program once, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Initially, I was guilty of converting everything I bought back to SGD and that’s the biggest problem that’s difficult to adjust during the initial transition period. You don’t think about it much as a tourist, I mean we’ve all got the kiasu mentality ingrained in us when it comes to being a tourist abroad. “WAH LUSH IN LONDON IS SO CHEAP! MUST BUY!” but honestly, do we really need another bath bomb for the bathtub we don’t have? No. But do we buy it anyway? Hell yeah.
But like I said, when I first moved here, It was always a case of “is this worth it to buy…..” “how much is this in SGD ah?” and after a while, it really drove me crazy. On the days I missed home, I couldn’t even enjoy my £9 Nasi Lemak because I was silently screaming at myself for paying SGD$18 for it. It was a shiok plate, I must say, but the level of guilt at that moment was crazy. Living in London is pretty expensive. I mean, if you add up everything and convert it to SGD you’ll get the shock of your life. But after awhile I just honestly stopped converting everything back (except when it counts) and it really does make you less calculative of things and more appreciative and grateful to be here even!
And speaking over overpriced Asian food: Not all of it is good. I remember craving for zi char so much that I tried this place to satisfy my cravings and instantly regretted. But amidst these crappy places are some hidden gems and not all of which you have to fork out the big bucks for! I remember getting lost South Kensington once and my boyfriend and I both agreed that we should find a place to eat. Upon Googling, we found this somewhat “Chinese” place that had four stars and decided to try it out. It was a hole in the wall, one of those ten-seater type of places where your elbows deep in other people’s food trying to finish your own. But what drew me to trying it out was the chicken and ducks hanging in the window, just like they do at home. £4.80 for a plate of Char Siew rice? Bring it on, I thought, how bad could it be? They KILLED IT! And for once I had that sliver of hope that not all Asian food in London are bad, and I was right. For now…
Also, you wouldn’t believe the number of times I roll my eyes at the pseudo “Asian” microwavables at Tesco. Oh, especially at the Singaporean Noodles!!! They are nothing like the char kuey tiao and mee goreng we have at home and do such a disgrace to our national identity, which is why I make it a point to push them to the back of the shelf, away from the public eye.
To make up for it, I learnt to cook my favourite local dishes (to keep myself sane) and one key moment was cooking my all-time favourite Hainanese chicken rice for my non-Singaporean friends, who couldn’t wrap their minds around how a simple chicken-and-rice dish could be so mind blowing. I was beyond stressed out, as all hosts do when cooking a complex meal for people that are not forced to love your cooking aka family, but the dinner was a success and it is safe to say that nailed it — that made me stop to reflect on how our hawker fare play an iconic role in our identity and I hope that it’s something we never lose.
Also, did you know that apparently our English is so good for someone who speaks Singaporean? Oh if I had a dollar for every time I heard that from someone… I’d buy a punching bag. Somehow, a lot of people here have the insane idea that Singapore is somewhere in China and that someone like me (i.e Indian with tanned skin) doesn’t look like a Singaporean. Whatever that means *rolls eyes* So far, I’m glad that this probably the only insulting thing said to my face. I’ve not received many outcries of racism that have left me boiling with anger but my other friends from home, who are Chinese, have. Which is slightly shocking, no? When you come from a country as a minority race and have had these experiences of discrimination, surely you expect it to be something that follows you regardless of which part of the globe you are in. I was taken aback at how I “fit in”, for once, and some of my friends didn’t and have had racist slurs thrown at them. I always feel triggered when I hear their stories and am always ready to shut someone down if someone around me being rude about it, but sometimes these are just things that are far beyond my control, or anyone’s for that matter. Especially if they’re from lunatics on the street. These experiences have really opened their eyes (and scarred them, of course) and dare I say, made them slightly more empathetic to my experiences of racism and discrimination back home.
Oh I have so much to say and I hope I’m not boring you but I guess I’ll end it here for now. Living in London has really been a roller-coaster ride! It has grown me as an individual and I’m always grateful to even be here, sitting on my bed somewhere in west London as I type this, because living abroad is a luxury and not a privilege. It has given me a fresh perspective on life, chasing your career and being a part of another multi-cultural community. Really, it has. And I hope that I get to soak up all these experiences, words of wisdom and thoughts and transport them back to Singapore, if and when I come back, to share and add to the shaping of our society.
